3 ways to help motivate your teen
A psychologist shares her tips for parents.
Is your teen struggling with motivation? Dr. Lisa Damour, psychologist, mother and best-selling author, shares three ways you can help your teen feel motivated.
Watch the video or read the tips below
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3 ways to help motivate your teen
Just like everybody else, at times, teens have to do things that they're not in the mood for. When this happens, there are three ways adults can help teens to feel motivated.
1. Offer choices
It's nice to have options. Research shows that teenagers are more likely to feel motivated when they are given options for how to tackle the work at hand.
For example, be open to your teen's ideas about how to solve problems, complete tasks or practice new skills. And, when possible, be flexible about when and where teens do the things we ask of them.
2. Praise effort
Cheer your teenager on. Done right, praising teenagers can help them to feel motivated. Our praise should be sincere. And it should celebrate effort, not talent.
For example, saying, “I see how hard you worked”, or “I see how much care you put into this”, or “I'm impressed by your stamina,” will build more motivation than saying, “Wow, you're really smart.”
And praise that communicates encouragement, not pressure, helps teenagers to feel motivated.
Saying “You did a really good job” is more helpful to teens than saying “You did a really good job, as I hoped you would.”
3. Get creative with rewards
Get creative with rewards because everybody needs encouragement. Just as adults don't enjoy every item on our to-do list, teens sometimes struggle to get going on the things that they need to do.
At these times, consider the value of a creative reward. You might suggest that your teenager take enjoyable 5 minute breaks between 25 minute periods of work.
Or you might encourage them to plan on having their favourite snack or spending time with a friend as soon as the work is done.
Here's to you and your happy, motivated teenager!
Dr. Lisa Damour is a psychologist, author, New York Times contributor and mother of two.
